


The Air We Breathe

by seeyaloki



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Malia is actually really smart, derek knows how to smile, pool party at Lydia's, she loves Stiles but she lets him go anyway, stiles is confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 06:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1930530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seeyaloki/pseuds/seeyaloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Malia's beautiful, stunning actually but she's not him. She's so much, but she will never be enough.</p><p>The sigh she lets out and the hand she puts on his shoulder tells Stiles she maybe already knows that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Air We Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Malia is awesome, okay. She's amazing and I don't get all the hate she gets buuuuuut.. I couldn't help it, sterek is my otp sorry (i'm not sorry)   
> But I like to imagine she helps Stiles figure out his real feeling so whatever, this happened  
> Enjoy!

Sometimes he feels as if he can't breathe. As if something crawled inside of him and pushed against his lungs until they simply stopped producing air.

Or maybe, it's someone.

Derek's basking in the sunlight, laughing at Scott and Kira splashing the water from Lydia's pool at him. He's magnificent, Stiles thinks. He watches from behind the slide doors, wonders if he'll ever get to see that smile, that specific look in Derek's eyes again. And he pushes a hand through his hair and hates himself for ever thinking someone who's been through so much shit could never possibly look this beautiful.

Because Derek is, he's gorgeous. And Stiles doesn't think that because he's biased, because he might feel a little more for him than he ever really should. He just is. Derek's beautiful in so much more ways than the most obvious one. And he doesn't care Scott hates him for thinking that, or about the knowing looks Lydia throws him.

Because Derek's just so damn beautiful it takes his freaking breath away.

After a while of standing and staring Malia stops behind him. The pack, the group is still not her thing yet. Stiles is her thing, though. And she should probably be his thing too. And she's beautiful, stunning even but she's not Derek. She's so much, but she will never be enough.

The sigh she lets out and the hand she puts on his shoulder tells Stiles she maybe already knows that.

"Sometimes," She starts, and it doesn't sound angry or resentful. It sounds like his mom did when she told him to take care of his dad for her. It sounds like his doctor did when he told him he had a worse attention span than most kids his age. It sounds like it hurts Malia to say it, but she's going to, anyway. Because sometimes Stiles needs a little push before he figures it all out. "Sometimes, I catch him looking at you the same way you're looking at him right now."

That's it, that's all she gives him and she kisses his cheek and gives him a smile on her way outside. And he watches her throw a waterballoon at Lydia's face, and she's beautiful while she's doing it and then the guilt thing starts all over again.

He leaves then, just turns around and goes for the door. Malia's right, he's seen the looks on Derek's face too. He knows they're the perfect copy of his own looks. But he doesn't think about it. He turns his gaze and feels Derek's eyes on him but he refuses to do anything about it.

He hasn't really figured out what his stare means. He's too afraid to descipher Derek's, to figure it all out. Maybe Malia has, maybe Lydia and Scott have, maybe they all have and maybe Malia's push just wasn't enough yet. Maybe he needs to cross the border this time and fall of the edge.

If he'd been as brave as Scott, or as fierce as Lydia maybe he would have. But he's not, he won't ever be because he's too afraid, to scared to fall or jump of the edge of whatever this brink is he's standing on because Derek might not catch him on his way down if he does. And he thinks he won't ever be able to breathe again if that happens. * He's in the middle of putting away the dishes when he hears it. The soft thump of someone landing on his bedroom floor, the creaking of the stairs and the dull sounds of footsteps on the carpet in his livingroom. He's not going to turn around first. He's not going to search for that gaze when all it does is confuse him even more. Instead he keeps putting away the dishes, keeps distracting himself until he has no other choice than to acknowledge the figure in his doorstep. "You left." Derek says. "I did," But it's barely a whisper. He doesn't know why he sounds so exhausted when he's not even tired yet. Maybe that's what Derek does to him. Makes Stiles feel all kinds of impossible. "But so did you." Derek steps closer, too close and takes the plate from Stiles' hands, puts it exactly where it needs to be and watches Stiles, the same way he always does. Maybe that's just the way you look at someone who's saved your life more than once. Or maybe that's just the way you look at someone who you love. But Stiles doesn't think about that. He can't think about that. "Yeah, because that's what I do." Derek says and he does sound angry. Like maybe he's pushed Stiles enough and he still hasn't figured it all out. "But you don't, Stiles. Hell, usually you stay until someone has to drag your ass back home." Derek moves behind him and Stiles freezes, because two warm hands slide up his back and to his shoulders. A nose behind his ear and a mouth against the back of his neck. It's too much. It's not enough. "You smell confused." And he breathes in, as if he's trying to prove to Stiles that he can actually smell those kind of things. It's the most private thing anyone has ever taken from him. That Derek can figure out how Stiles feels by just pressing into him while Stiles can't even figure that out by looking in someone's eyes. "That's because I am." It happens again, when Derek's hands move to his sides and the press of his mouth turns into a kiss. He loses his breath, once again and Derek stole that from him too. Everything, really. From his breath to his heart. "What is this, Derek? Because I have the feeling everyone's trying to give me clues but I just can't figure it out." When Derek kisses him then instead of answering, there's no fireworks, no sparks behind his eyes. There's nothing except his tongue in Derek's mouth and Derek's hand in his hair. Maybe it's like that feeling you get when you find the last puzzle piece, the one you'd been looking for for so long and now you found it and you finally get to see the whole picture. And maybe it's still confusing, yeah. But it's also even more beautiful now. And later, when it's over, when Stiles is naked and spent they still haven't said anything yet and they don't need to. Words don't mean anything, really. Not after this. He gets Malia now, when he pulls the balnket closer and calls out Derek's name. Het gets her because yeah, he recocgnizes that look on Derek's face. Sees the exact same one everytime he catches himself staring at Derek. "If for some, crazy, supernatural reason I would fall of the edge of something, would you catch me?" And that smile, that look in Derek's eyes from earlier that day at the pool, they're back. And they're for Stiles, for him only. "Always." Derek says, and he jumps out of the window and dissapears into the night. He sees Scott's disgusted face in the future. Lydia's knowing smirks and the death threats his dad will give Derek when they're officially introduced. But mostly Malia comes to mind. Her hands on his shoulders, her kiss on his cheek and that smile, that knowing, forgiving smile. He reminds himself to thank her later. To thank her for holding on to him even when he gave up on her. He'll do that, when the memory of Derek's fingers pressing in to his skin have faded away. He feels complete, suddenly. Like everything is right with the world, like everything is exactly how it should be. And Stiles thinks he might finally be able to breathe again.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. That happened.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
